We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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