Her vagina should come with caution tape.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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