watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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