i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
there is glitter all over my balls
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
