he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
