Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
