mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We have started to decorate penises.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
