Do you still have your period?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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