i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
