just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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