That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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