he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
