Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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