he wants to bone in the snuggie
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I could fuck to npr.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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