when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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