Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
