the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
