then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What a dumb baby whore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
