How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
