and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
