just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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