Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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