I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
