oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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