Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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