Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
