Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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