wat bout pragnant strippers??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
