Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You have to summon your inner elephant
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
