Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
