i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
