our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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