awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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