She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
