Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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