I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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