as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize