Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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