Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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