My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
