Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
