I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
