Life is so much better after having sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
