I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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