zippers are such a cool invention
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
