so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
