Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
