apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
