you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
