Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
