Can i not drive my cunt home
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
