OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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