So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
