My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
