Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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