ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize