I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
