Your dad touched me again.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
