don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
