the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
