it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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