i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize