Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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