i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
