the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
